What Families Experience?

What Families Experience?

When parents discover that their children are using drugs, they often have to cope with various difficulties. Here are some of these challenges listed in a more understandable way:

Disappointment: Every parent makes hopes and plans about their children's future. However, learning that their child has started using drugs shatters these hopes. This disappointment is the first reaction they face. But it should be remembered that everything is not over, and change is possible.

Guilt: Some parents blame themselves for their children's drug use. In this case, they may exaggerate their own mistakes or feel guilty intensely. However, feelings of guilt do not contribute to solving the problem.

Denial: Some parents do not want to accept that their children have started using drugs. Therefore, they ignore or trivialize their child's drug use. However, accepting the truth is a step towards solving the problem.

Hopelessness: When parents start dealing with their children's drug use, they often fail in their first attempts. This sense of failure can lead to hopelessness. However, it should be remembered that constant struggle and different approaches can solve the problem.

Confusion and Not Knowing What to Do: Parents often feel confused and unsure about what to do when they learn that their children are using drugs. In this case, they can lose their reflexes. The important thing is to notice this situation and try to control themselves to avoid taking wrong steps.

Anger: Getting angry about their children's drug use is a natural reaction for some parents. However, this anger does not contribute to solving the problem and can negatively affect family relationships.

Shame: For some families, their children's drug use can be a source of great shame. Therefore, the family may try to avoid their surroundings and hide their problem. However, feelings of shame can hinder the solution of the problem.

Fear: Parents can experience great fears about their children. These fears can manifest themselves in various ways, from the child becoming drug addicted to experiencing psychological problems. If these fears are not managed properly, they can lead to further exacerbation of the problem.

Expectation: Parents may expect the problem to be resolved quickly. However, such expectations are often unrealistic. Solving the problem may take time and require patience. Therefore, having realistic expectations is important.

Child-Centered Living: While struggling with the problem, some families focus entirely on the child and may neglect other family members. This situation can lead to imbalance within the family.

Addiction as a Family Illness: What Should Families and Loved Ones Do?

Accepting Differences: You should accept that your addicted loved one is different from other family members. Their behaviors may be different from others, and so may their reactions. Remember that they are already a different individual and have started using drugs.

Controlling Your Emotions: As parents, you should control your emotions. Avoid blame and accept that the problem lies in your relationship with your child. Think of it as a fresh start and put aside any feelings of hopelessness.

Setting Boundaries: You need to learn to set boundaries for your child. We know that setting boundaries and following rules can be challenging for such children. Therefore, as a family, you should develop new strategies and ensure that they adhere to the rules. These rules should not be in the form of pressure; rather, you should try to find a common ground. Seek professional help when necessary.

Encouraging Responsibility: It is important for your child to learn to take responsibility for their actions. Drug-addicted youth often struggle to take responsibility and try to pass their responsibilities onto others. Therefore, you should encourage them to take their own responsibilities.

Lowering Expectations: Your goal should be to reduce harm to your child, not to completely change them. Therefore, you should first accept that they are different.

Acquiring New Skills: You need to acquire new skills to cope with your child. For example, learn anger management or conflict resolution skills.

Developing New Strategies: You must acknowledge that the methods you have used so far have failed. Do not repeat failed methods and develop new strategies.

Taking the First Step: Teens refuse to compromise with their parents. Therefore, you may need to change yourself first. When you change as a parent, the teenager begins to change too.

Improving Communication Quality: Be a good listener for good communication. Given that teenagers often learn about drug use later than their parents, do not forget how important it is to establish good communication.

Maintaining Life: Instead of focusing solely on your addicted child, try to maintain your own life as well. This can help protect your other children and yourself.

Postponing Conflicts: Avoid arguing when the teenager is angry. Postpone the conflict and wait for a calmer time.

Understanding Them: You should try to understand them and what they do. Instead of criticizing their behavior, focus on their actions.

Supporting Them: Notice and praise their good behavior. Rather than focusing on negative behaviors, reward positive behaviors.

Parents Unaware of the Situation: If other family members notice the child's drug use, they should share the situation with the family. Family members should accept this problem and seek help from treatment facilities.

With these suggestions, it may be possible to cope with your addicted loved one and help them more effectively.

Questions Families and Loved Ones Have About Addiction

1- Is Addiction a Brain Disease?

While substance and alcohol use are not considered diseases, addiction is certainly a brain disease. To better understand this difference, let's give an example: Everyone may experience stomach pain from time to time, but some people have a chronic disease like ulcers. While stomach pain is a symptom, an ulcer is a disease. Similarly, while everyone may occasionally consume alcohol, some people become addicted.

2- What is My Role in My Child's or Loved One's Addiction?

Some parents may associate their children's initiation into drug use with their own behavior and therefore feel guilty. However, it is important to adopt a more constructive approach instead of feeling guilty, as addiction is a problem based on complex reasons. Instead of feeling guilty, we should think about what kind of support we can offer. It is also important to collaborate with experts to understand addiction and help in the treatment process.

3- How Do I Know If My Child or Loved One Is Addicted?

When parents are concerned about their loved ones' drug use, they can take some steps to understand the situation:

Gathering Information: First, focus on information that supports your suspicions. However, be careful to respect the person's privacy. Learn about the characteristics of different drugs from various sources. Combine this information with your observations to gain an objective perspective. But avoid accusing the person without solid evidence.

Choosing the Right Time to Talk: Do not rush to decide when to talk to the person. Choose a comfortable environment and time. Clearly express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns. But avoid using accusatory language.

Openness to Emotional Support: Be understanding towards the person and make them feel supported. Avoid judging when talking. Listen to what the person has to say and respect their emotional reactions. Leave the door open for further discussions after the initial conversation.

Seeking Professional Help: If your communication with the person does not yield results or if the situation is more complex, consider seeking help from an expert.

Also, pay attention to physical and mental changes that may result from the use of certain substances:

Marijuana and Synthetic Cannabinoids: Look for signs such as redness, fatigue, insomnia, and hallucinations. Eye drops can be used to alleviate redness

1- Should I Get a Secret Test?

Secretly conducting a test is not the right approach. One of the most effective methods to determine substance use is to conduct urine, blood, or hair tests. However, it is more appropriate to conduct such tests with the individual openly and with their consent. Conducting tests secretly damages trust and can affect the reliability of the results.

Before conducting a test, it is important to communicate with the suspected individual. Both parties agreeing to the test can positively impact your relationship and treatment. Attempting to conduct tests secretly can exacerbate problems.

Urine Test:

Urine tests are quick and economical, and can be done at home.

Depending on the substance used, they generally cover the last 3 days.

For example, heroin can be detected in urine for 2-4 days, marijuana for 1-3 days, cocaine for 12-48 hours.

However, a negative test result does not necessarily mean the person has not used substances.

Urine tests can be misleading, so it's important to pay attention to the results.

Tests should be conducted under the right conditions. It is important that the urine is fresh and not mixed.

Hair Test:

A hair sample can detect substance use within the last 4-6 months.

The hair sample must be taken correctly.

Hair dye or chemical treatments can affect the results.

The hair should be at least 2 cm long.

Hair strands can indicate when substance use started.

Blood Test:

It is more reliable than urine testing.

However, blood sampling should be done by experts.

It should be done immediately after substance use.

2- Would Taking a Short Break or Moving Away Fix It?

Addiction is a multidimensional issue that arises from the interaction of psychological, environmental, and biological factors. To understand this concept, let's explain it with a concrete example: Can someone who has never used marijuana become addicted? Usually not, because they haven't experienced it. However, if a person lives in an environment where people around them use marijuana, the risk of addiction may increase. Environmental factors play a significant role in substance addiction, and therefore should be considered during and after the treatment process.

Even if someone stops using substances and completes treatment, old usage habits may sometimes return. To cope with these difficulties, some addicts prefer to take breaks (to villages, hometowns, etc.) or undergo treatment occasionally. However, environmental changes for someone outside of the treatment process may only be a temporary solution. Moving away from substances is not sufficient for addiction treatment.

If a person cannot control substance use and their friends continue to use, distancing oneself from that environment may be beneficial. However, there should not be high expectations from this change. When a person returns to their old life, they should continue with treatment. Changing locations is just a transitional period. Addiction treatment is not limited to eliminating environmental risks. What matters is how the person will deal with substance cravings after returning to their environment. The person should know how to cope with triggering situations, be aware of risky situations, and adapt to a new lifestyle. These skills are acquired by sticking to treatment.

3- Will Getting Married Fix It?

Some families believe that addiction problems can be solved by getting married. However, addiction is a complex brain disease that cannot be solved by a simple solution like marriage.

Consider someone with physical illnesses like diabetes or high blood pressure. These illnesses do not heal by getting married or not getting married. Medical treatment and lifestyle changes are necessary for healing. Addiction requires a similar approach.

Marriage is not a direct solution to treat addiction. While marriage can be important in providing support to the addicted individual, it is not a factor that will solve addiction on its own. Conversely, marriage can lead to conflicts, violence, and even divorce in the face of addiction problems.

As a result, for a person with addiction issues to recover, professional medical treatment and psychological support are necessary. While marriage can provide support during this process, it is not a factor that will spontaneously resolve addiction.

4- Will They Get Better If They Go to the Military?

Going to the military can be an opportunity for transformation for individuals with addiction. This process can serve as a motivation for those who are considering quitting substance use. Military service can help individuals stay away from harmful habits like alcohol or substance use by removing them from environments where these habits are prevalent. At the same time, the military experience can increase individuals' sense of responsibility and contribute to organizing their lives. However, the period after military service is important. If individuals return to the same harmful environments after military service, addiction problems may re-emerge. Therefore, the decision to go to the military and the changes that will occur after returning should be carefully planned.

However, going to the military alone is not a sufficient solution for those who do not want to quit substance use and have been using substances for a long time. These individuals may continue to use substances even during military service. Therefore, a more comprehensive approach is necessary for individuals requiring addiction treatment.

It is also important to remember that going to the military is not the only way to overcome addiction. Addiction arises from the complex interaction of psychological, environmental, and biological factors. Therefore, effective treatment should intervene in these factors. Medical treatment, psychological support, and lifestyle adjustments should be considered alongside options like going to the military, but they should not be seen as a standalone solution.

5- Will They Get Better If They Get a Job?

Simply getting a job is not sufficient to effectively treat addiction. Addiction is often a multifaceted and complex problem. Getting a job may increase responsibilities and reduce substance use, but it is not enough to treat addiction.

Overcoming addiction starts with the individual's desire to quit and motivation for treatment. The person must be able to control substance use. After successfully passing through these stages, starting a job can increase responsibilities and reduce substance use.

However, it is important to remember: Getting a job is just a tool, not enough to treat addiction. If a person with addiction issues starts a job without completing the basic treatment stages, they often leave the job shortly afterward and return to substance use.

Moreover, job selection should be suitable for the individual's treatment needs. Treatment needs during the process should be considered, and job selection should be made accordingly. In this way, job selection can provide effective support for overcoming addiction. However, addiction treatment requires a multifaceted approach, including medical and psychological support, and simply getting a job does not offer a solution on its own.

6- Should We Give Him Money to Prevent Him from Stealing and Harming Us?

One of the biggest concerns of families with addicted relatives is that the addicted individuals may resort to negative behaviors such as theft to obtain substances. Yes, sometimes addicts may resort to such negative behaviors to obtain substances. In such cases, family members often resort to giving money to prevent the addict from stealing. Responsibilities are often burdened on them. However, this approach can reinforce the tendency to continue addiction.

Family members may present reasons such as "I don't want to give money to the dealer" to avoid giving money. These approaches can encourage the addict to develop a sense of responsibility. However, please remember that where the money goes is important. Not supporting substance use by addicted individuals is important.

7- Does Secrecy Feed Addiction?

When families encounter substance use problems with their loved ones, they often try to conceal this situation because they worry about what friends, neighbors, and relatives will think. These thoughts filled with concerns lead the family to try to hide and escape the problem. However